WHAT DON'T KILL YOU....

TODAY I HAD, I GUESS WHAT SOME WOULD CALL, A REVELATION. FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE SPIRITUAL I'M GOING TO ASK YOU TO REFLECT ON THE GOSPEL HYMN "GOD IS TRYING TO TELL YOU SOMETHING" AS YOU READ ALONG. BELIEVE IT OR NOT I AM VERY SPIRITUAL. MY FAMILY HAD A CHURCH WHEN I WAS YOUNGER AND I HAVE NEVER LOST CONTACT WITH MY GOD. I PRAY REGULARLY AND THAT'S WHY "NO WEAPONS FORMED AGAINST ME SHALL PROSPER." EVERYTHING THAT I EXPERIENCE IS A DAILY REMINDER OF "THE PURPOSE IN ME." I KNEW IF I DIDN'T WRITE ABOUT THIS, I WOULD FORGET IT LATER. I WILL PUT IT IN DETAIL IN MY BOOK, BUT HERE IS A BRIEF SYNOPSIS.

LATELY, I'VE BEEN GOING THROUGH ONE OF THE HARDEST EXPERIENCES THAT I'VE EVER HAD. I SAY ONE OF THE HARDEST EXPERIENCES BECAUSE THE OTHERS I DID NOT HAVE CONTROL OVER, THIS ONE I ALLOWED TO HAPPEN AGAINST MY BETTER JUDGMENT. NEEDLESS TO SAY (BECAUSE I'M NOT REALLY READY TO TALK ABOUT IT I'LL JUST SAY) THAT IT'S BLOWN UP IN MY FACE. I'VE PRAYED ABOUT IT OVER AND OVER AGAIN, AND SOME HOW JUST NEVER RECEIVED THE RESPONSE THAT "I WANTED." HOWEVER, I CONTINUED TO GET THE SIGNS THAT I NEEDED. ANYWAY, WHILE TRYING TO PUT THIS SITUATION IN PERSPECTIVE FOR MYSELF, SOMETHING HAPPENED TODAY THAT ALL I COULD DO WAS LAUGH AT. IT WASN'T REALLY FUNNY, BUT AGAIN REFLECT ON THAT HYMN. I'M SITTING IN A CAR DISCUSSING THE SITUATION AT HAND. AN ELDERLY WOMAN PULLS UP AND BLOCKS THE CAR OFF. WE WEREN'T GOING ANYWHERE, BUT IF WE WANTED TO WE COULDN'T. I PROMISE YOU THAT I'M NOT MAKING THIS UP. THE WOMAN HAD GOSPEL MUSIC BLASTING OUT OF HER CAR, SO LOUD THAT I COULD NOT UNDERSTAND THE WORDS. TAMBOURINE IN HAND....AND SHE IS GOING TO TOWN....LOOKING DIRECTLY INTO THE CAR....SINGING THE LYRICS. I LAUGHED BECAUSE ALL I COULD THINK (ALTHOUGH I KNOW FOR SURE THE SONG THAT THE WOMAN WAS PLAYING WAS NOT "GOD IS TRYING TO TELL YOU SOMETHING) WAS GOD IS TRYING TO TELL ME SOMETHING. HOW IRONIC IS THAT? I'VE SEEN A LOT OF CRAZY PEOPLE AND THINGS IN MY LIFE. FOR SOME REASON, AT THAT VERY MOMENT, I DIDN'T PERCEIVE IT AS ANYTHING CRAZY. I PERCEIVED IT AS A MESSAGE THAT WAS SPECIFICALLY FOR ME. YOU SEE, OUT OF EVERYTHING THAT I'VE BEEN THROUGH IN MY LIFE, THIS WAS THE HARDEST TO DEAL WITH FOR ME. IT WAS THE HARDEST TO ACCEPT...IT GAVE ME A REFLECTION OF ME AND THE PERCEPTION THAT I'VE BEEN HAVING OF MYSELF. WHEN I LEFT THAT SPOT, ALL OF MY PAIN WAS LIFTED AND I SUDDENLY BECAME STRONGER. I'M NOT ASHAMED TO ADMIT THAT I'D BEEN IN A VERY DARK PLACE FOR A VERY LONG TIME. NO MATTER HOW I APPEARED ON THE OUTSIDE, MY INSIDE WAS DARK AND BROKEN AND LONELY. I JUST WANT TO SAY OUT LOUD THAT I RECEIVED THAT MESSAGE. GOD IS TRYING TO TELL ME SOMETHING. I WAS BREAKING...I WAS BREAKING DOWN...AND NOW I'M REMINDED THAT I'VE BEEN THROUGH WORSE AND OVERCOME IT ON MY OWN. I WAS AT THE POINT WHERE I THOUGHT I HAD NO MORE STRENGTH TO FIGHT ANOTHER BATTLE. AS CRAZY AS THIS SOUNDS, THAT TAMBOURINE, THAT WOMAN, THAT HYMN (NO MATTER WHAT IT WAS)....OPENED MY EYES. EVERY SINCE THAT MOMENT I'VE SAID TO MYSELF...YOU'RE OK....YOU WILL BE OK....YOU'VE SURVIVED WORSE....AND "WHAT DON'T KILL YOU WILL ONLY MAKE YOU STRONGER."

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime...and I just want to take a moment to give thanks to you all...especially the ones that were put here solely for the reason of reminding me that I have purpose.

I THINK TONIGHT WILL BE MY FIRST REAL NIGHT TO SLEEP AT PEACE.

GOOD NIGHT